Tales of the Ameoba: The Van Helsing Tale
by Rauko2003
Summary: Sequel to the First Ameoba tale, but a different story
1. Prologue

**(Alright! Sequel, there are going to be A LOT of sequels to this story, sorry for all those innocent readers who have to suffer and all I'm going to say is...HA HA HA HA HA HA! But yea! This again is for my friends so :-P)**

**Disclaimer: I'm going to make it easy on myself...I don't own ANY of the movies or related material to movies that is mentioned in this chapter**

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**Prologue: "Wait a minute...THIS ISN'T RONNIES!"**

"Ow..." Zack moaned as the group of six all landed on top of each other. There was a loud slam, as if a door had just closed and the teenagers tried to pull themselves out of the mess they landed in.

"Chris! Get off!" McKenna gasped as she was getting crushed by the three people on top of her.

"What? Are you saying I'm fat?" Chris Laughed as he got up. McKenna immediately pushed Katelynn and Kristin off of her and took a very deep breath of air as she rolled off of Kyle and Zack.

"Yes...yes I am," McKenna shot once she got her breath. Immediately she looked around in confusion. "Wait a minute...THIS ISN'T RONNIES!" Instead of being in the dark screen room of Ronnie's Theater, the group was in a large forest, well, actually a ring of seven trees. The one in front of them had a white mask on it, the one to it's left had a huge ghost ship on it, the next had a large scarab, then another had a huge gold ring on it, the one after that had a stake with VH encarved onto it, then another had a huge X on it and the last had a large lightning bolt on it.

"Where the fuck are we?" Katelynn asked, looking around.

"I don't know..." McKenna trailed. "Hey! My bag!" She bent down picking up her black bag that she carried everywhere.

"Oh thank God!" Kyle smiled, he, Katelynn, Chris and Zack were restored back to their regular cloths.

"Where'd Kristin go?" McKenna asked.

"GOD DAMNIT! I ALMOST HAD IT!" Kristin yelled in anger as she seemed to mourn the loss of the Music Box with the monkey on top.

"O...kay..." McKenna laughed.

"This looks like that Nightmare Before Christmas movie," Chris said. Suddenly they heard a yell and caught a glimpse of Jack Skelegtion getting sucked into the Christmas tree.

"Well, that's weird," Zack said. He walked around looking at all the doors in confusion. "I wonder where they go to..." He reached out a hand and opened the door with the Lighting Bolt on it. In an instant a choir began to sing, the words of their horrible song echoed through the forest.

"Double, Double, Toil and Trouble, Fire Burn and Cauldron bubble..." McKenna and Katelynn instantly hurled themselves against the door. Slamming it before anything else happened.

"That...that was Harry Potter," Zack stammered

"Yes it was," McKenna panted her left shoulder numb from hitting the door so hard. "And we are NOT GOING IN THERE!"

"So...these doors lead to movies?" Kyle asked.

"I guess," McKenna shrugged.

"But I though after Phantom of the Stupid Opera we'd go home," Chris complained.

"So did I," McKenna sighed. "GOD DAMNIT!" She sat down cross legged on the ground.

"Wait a minute, you mean I had to put up with the slut and relationship issues and I don't even get to go home?" Chris yelled. "This sucks balls!"

"You okay?" Katelynn asked, looking at McKenna.

"Ya, just trying to think..." she mumbled back. "We're in the middle of no where with seven movie trees. We went to the Phantom of the Opera one, right now, we have Van Helsing, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Mummy, Lord of the Rings, X-Men and Harry fucking Potter." She pointed at each door as she named them off one by one.

"Everyone just sit down and try and think of a way out of here," McKenna said, and everyone sat down where they were to think.

"This...sucks," Katelynn mumbled.

"Ya really," Chris agreed. There was a loud screech like someone was trying to open a rusty door quietly. Everyone turned around to see Kristin standing next to an open movie door.

"Kristin...no..." McKenna said slowly, but it was too late. The Bass Clarinet jumped into the door, disappearing.

"God Damn you Kristin!" McKenna shouted as she leaped to her feet.

"What are you doing?" Kyle asked as the angry flute walked to the door.

"We have to go after her," McKenna said through clenched teeth.

"Great..." Katelynn said. With that, McKenna, Zack, Kyle and Katelynn all dived into the door way. Chris walked over to the door and looked down at the pitch black hole.

"Screw that!" he smirked slamming the Van Helsing door shut. He walked back to the center of the ring of trees and sat down. He swiftly pulled out his Nintendo DS and began to play; not thinking once about if his friends needed help.


	2. Introductions

(Alright...I know a bunch of movie junkies are going to yell at me, but w/e. I don't care. This again is for my friends if anyone else wants to read, fine, I'm all for it, but I'm not going to beg for reviews, they aren't like drugs k? So w/e this is going to take forever to get up...ugh...)

Disclaimer: I don't own Van Helsing, unfortinatly because it's cool, but it belongs to someone else. So...yea

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**Chapter 1: Introductions**

"Vampires!"

"Run!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Instantly the large mob of angry Transylvanian villagers scattered as four monstrous bat-like demons came flying down to the burning windmill that much resembled a huge bonfire.

"Father..." a grotesquely large being lamnated and there was a sicking crack beneath it. "NO!" he cried as he fell, along with the lifeless body of his creator, down into a world of smoke, flame and darkness.

The four huge monsters soon landed near the windmill, three turned into women riskily dressed who started crying and screaming, and the other turned into a very pissed off Dracula. There was a loud boom as a huge gear landed next to the vampire, and a slightly quieter boom rang out as a small figure was hurled out of the fire and landed right in front of the group.

"AH! GOD DAMNIT! MY TAIL BONE!" the skinny Zack screamed as he fell on his back. The vampires watched the bassoon as he kept screaming about being in pain. He suddenly was aware of the undead standing by him and the boy looked up. His eyes got huge. "Oh...shit..."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Meanwhile...In Paris...**

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

There was a loud crack, and a loud rumble as a body rolled unceremoniously down the stairs of Notre Damn.

"Ow..." Kristin moaned as she came to a halt at the bottom of the stair case. It was pitch black, save the soft eerie glow of the moon. Trying to shake off the growing head ace, Kristin looked around. There was a large shoe that appeared out of no where, and it passed Kristin quickly, nearly stepping on her.

"What the...where am I?" she demanded. Suddenly a really skinny kid with a burlap sack over his head ran past the church, a young ballerina dragging him along. "Oh...Paris," she assumed as there was a large creaking noise from above. Two admitted voices echoed down to her.

"Dr. Jekyll, you are wanted by the Knights of the Holy Order..."

"Okay...better go up there," Kristin said and she quickly reclimbed the stairs she previously fell down.

"THE BELLS! THE BELLS!" the huge, ugly distorted form of Mr. Hyde howled as he hit a huge church bell. Kristin appeared just as Hyde threw the bell on top of Van Helsing.

"Whoa," she yelled a little too loudly, catching the attention of Mister Hyde.

"ANOTHER KNIGHT!" he sneered, and Kristin gave him a confused look. Looking over herself quickly she saw what he was talking about. She was dressed head to toe exactly like Van Helsing, guns, coat, vest, tojo blades, even the handkerchief that covered up the bottom part of her face, though she didn't have the hat.

"Whoa..." she gasped then looked up to see Hyde charging her. "WOAH!" As if on instinct her hand flew to her pistols and let loose two bullets; one hitting the ogre's chest and another tearing through his arm. Kristin looked down at the gun with a shocked look. "Whoa..."

Mr. Hyde let off a howl of pain, but seemed to be distracted by the loud buzzing noise that was coming out of the bell Van Helsing was currently trapped under. Forgetting Kristin, and once again focusing on his main prey, Mr. Hyde picked up the bell to see a neatly cut circle under the bell.

"HU?" he growled in anger but the buzz suddenly sounded again and Mr. Hyde looked up into the bell, just in time to see Van Helsing sever his arm off.

"AGH!" the monster bellowed dropping the bell and held what was left of his arm as he whimpered, his sawed off arm returning to its original shriveled form. Van Helsing rolled out of the bell, scrambling to his feet, looking to see Kristin still standing by the door watching the spectacle.

"What are you doing here!" he demanded harshly.

"I'm here...to...WATCH OUT!" she yelled, but it was too late. Hyde already had Van Helsing by the collar of his jacket throwing him across the belfry.

"Oooooo...that's gotta hurt," Kristin whispered as Hyde once again picked up and threw the half conscious Van Helsing through the roof, Hyde soon following in one leap.

"AH Paris!" the beast proclaimed in the cool night air. Rolling her eyes Kristin climbed up the shattered pieces of wood to the roof, really starting to hate this little 'adventure' even more.

"Ugh..." Kristin grunted as she pulled herself onto the roof. She glanced over to the side just in time to see Van Helsing's grappling gun go through Mr. Hyde's stomach.

"Ew..." she moaned as blood went everywhere. "It's just like the game..." She heard the cord snap tightly and Mr. Hyde nearly toppled over the cathedral's edge. With a sick laugh he grabbed the rope with his only remaining fist.

"My TURN!" he cackled as he yanked the cable and started running like a little third grader trying to fly a kite. Kristin quickly moved to the side of the roof as Van Helsing came into view, sailing over the side.

There was a crash, the cable snapped and both Kristin and Van Helsing watched as Mr. Hyde rapidly changed into Dr. Jekyll, and slam into the cobble stone street.

"Ow..." Kristin winced.

"Who ARE you?" Van Helsing demanded.

"Uh...the Vatican sent me?" Kristin lied nervously.

"VAN HELSING!" a loud, ugly ass, Paris policeman screamed.

"Not again..." Van Helsing pleaded as he adjusted his hat back over his eyes.

"YOU MURDERER!"

"Time to go," Kristin said quickly as policemen started running into the church. With a quick nod Van Helsing threw on his hat and the two quickly ran down the stairs to the back of the church.

"Hey! I get my own horse!" Kristin said as she walked over to the two tethered horses, Van Helsing casted a confused look. "Uh... I mean, hey, my horse is here."

"Are you sure that the Vatican sent you?" Van Helsing asked suspiciously as an angry mob's voices echoed around them, drawing closer.

"Ya, I'm sure," Kristin said with a little more confidence. With a shrug the two mounted their horses and rode off before the crowd could even catch them.


	3. The Vatican Problem

**(What's there to say...me and my friends are insane, have a lot of time on our hands, and have a lot of sugar so this is a result...ha ha. Anyway..ya)**

**Discalmer: I don't own Van Helsing, any of the characters or the plot, yep...too bad

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**Chapter 2: The Vatican Problem**

"Wow... this place is huge!" Kristin said as they rode into the Vatican City.

"I thought you said the Vatican sent you," Van Helsing grinned with slight amusement as two monks came over to take their horses.

"They did...it's just...uh... this place always seems huge no matter how many times you come here," Kristin lied quickly as she followed Van Helsing to the confessional booth.

"More like a fortress then a church," Van Helsing said.

"Ya...no kidding," Kristin agreed. They stopped right at the booth and Van Helsing motioned for Kristin to go into the confessional booth. Kristin shook her head quickly. "Uh...right..., I'm not going in there."

"Why not?"

"Claustrophobic," Kristin said quickly. "Besides it's you the Cardinal wants to talk to, Mr. Hyde was your job."

"You said the Vatican sent you to help me take care of Mr. Hyde."

"They sent me to make sure he didn't escape like in London," Kristin stated. Giving her a small glare, Van Helsing went into the confessional booth.

"Bless me father for I have sinned..."

"Yes, I KNOW! And you're very good at it too," Cardinal Jinnetee snapped, causing Van Helsing to wince. "You shattered the Rose Window."

"Not to split hairs, but it was Mr. Hyde who did the shatter," Van Helsing said in his defense.

"Nu uh..." Kristin said loudly.

"Shut up you didn't even do anything," Van Helsing shot.

"I shot him!"

"SO DID I!"

"Who is that?" Cardinal Jinnettee demanded.

"Uh..."

"She said you sent her."

"HER? We have no female knights," the Cardinal hissed. The door to his booth was opened and the Cardinal stomped out to Kristin, who seemed slightly frightened by the clearly enraged old man.

"Who are you? And how do you know about this, organization?" he questioned coldly.

"I'm Kristin... I come from...Los Angeles...you know...the City of Angels...your Western Front," she explained.

"We have no western front," Cardinal Jinntte snapped.

"Yes you do, we just don't have a lot to do," Kristin lied. "We had a windego episode a few weeks ago, but I took care of that."

"Very well, but you are not to be left alone," the Cardinal snapped. "Both of you follow me."

The Cardinal pulled a lever in his booth and the wall that made up the back of the confessional booth moved, to reveal a secret passage. He started his decent down the winding stairs, Van Helsing and Kristin soon followed.

"Is he always like that?" Kristin whispered.

"Pretty much," Van Helsing nodded as the Cardinal began to rant again.

"Civilizations come and go, but we stay. For over two thousand years we have protected the world from evil, hiding in the shadows. If they knew what was out there would be pandemonium around the world," he explained much to everyone's boredom. "You two have a new assignment."

"Us two?" Van Helsing asked slightly offended.

"Yes, this assignment is like none you've ever faced," the cardinal explained. "And I am not letting _her _stay here." Jinette walked over to some primitive looking projector. "Your assignment is deep within the Carpathian Mountains, in a cursed land, Transylvania..." and for the next four minutes the Cardinal gave them a very long, and very dull explanation of what they were suppose to do.

"So you're sending us into hell?" Van Helsing asked, jarring Kristin from her daydream.

"In a manner of speaking," the Cardinal smiled light heartedly. "I think in Transylvania you'll find the answers you are looking for."

"That and a shit load of vampires," Kristin murmured as the two men looked at her strangely.

Both soon left the Cardinal, walking through the armory and almost immediately were met by a small, blonde friar.

"Ah...I see you're back. So, did you bring Dr. Jekyll alive or dead?" Carl's question was immediately met with silence. "Dead hu? That's why they get so annoyed, when they tell you to bring someone back they don't mean as a corpse." He looked over at Kristin who was following them, as quiet and pissed off as Van Helsing.

"Who's this?"

"Kristin," Van Helsing said with a little bit of a pissed off tone.

"Ah, I see you're in a mood...come on, I have a few things that might put the bit back in your mouth," Carl assured.

The group continued to walk around the armory, Carl kept talking rapidly and was nearly killed by a pissed monk and nearly blew up the entire armory with his 'glycerin 48'.

"I got some new assistant from Los Angeles," Carl said as if he was confused with his statement.

"Los Angeles you say?" Van Helsing asked looking back at Kristin suspiciously. She just gave him an innocent shrug, clearly surprised by Carl's comment.

"Yes, I just said that," Carl said with a little huff as if Van Helsing was stupid. He grabbed two bags and threw them at Kristin and Van Helsing. Then he started going down a row of various objects and weapons throwing them in the bags and naming each as they were placed in the bag.

The roar of a gatling gun erupted behind them. Both Van Helsing and Kristin turned to see a monk blowing away a target, bullets ripping through the air.

"Why can't I have one of those?" Van Helsing asked, clearly impressed by the dangerous weapon.

"You've never gone after vampires before have you?"

"Obviously," Kristin muttered.

"Kristin?"

"KYLE?" Kristin turned to see Kyle standing with two crossbows, dressed like Carl. "Why the hell are you dressed like that?"

"I...don't know," Kyle admitted.

"I guess it's because we called you Carl after the movie," Kristin laughed.

"Aw...crap...I just wanted to be named after a donkey."

"Excuse me?" Carl asked, interrupting their little reunion.

"Sorry, my bad, go on," Kristin apologized.

"Like I was saying, vampires are nothing like warlocks; my granny could kill a warlock."

"You've never been out of the abbey, how do you know about vampires?" Van Helsing asked with slight amusement.

"I read," Carl answered walking over to Kyle. "Here are two of my greatest inventions." He handed a cross bow to Van Helsing and Kristin. "A bow able to fire arrows in rapid succession. Made by a certifiably genius."

"You don't say so yourself," Van Helsing said looking over the weapon.

"I did say so myself," Carl answered, but Van Helsing was already messing with the small sun bomb Carl made.

"Is he always like this?" Kristin asked as she and Kyle watched to two messing around with the bomb.

"Pretty much," Kyle sighed in shame.

"I wonder if they know they could kill a shit load of vampires with that," Kristin wondered as Carl was listing random things Van Helsing could burn or cook with the bomb.

"They find out later, remember?" Kyle whispered.

"Oh...ya..."

"Alright, you two are coming with us," Van Helsing informed.

"I'll be damned if I am," Carl shot defiantly.

"Carl! You cursed! Not very good, but you're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all," Van Helsing scolded, he turned to Kyle. "You too, no cursing."

"Actually, we're just friars, so we can curse as much as we want," Carl corrected, "Damnit."

"Well, the Cardinal ordered you two to keep us alive as long as possible, so you're coming," Van Helsing ordered and after throwing Kyle and Carl a bag both he and Kristin walked off.

"But...I'm not a field man. Van Helsing... I don't want to go to Transylvania," Carl complained.

"For the love of God, suck it up," Kyle sighed and the two followed Van Helsing and Kristin, no one liking the fact that they had to go into the cursed land.


	4. The Werewolf Trap from Hell

**Chapter 3: Werewolf Trap from Hell**

"Oh...god what the hell just happened?" McKenna cursed as she came around, feeling like she just got hit with a freight train.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" a man demanded, his voice coming from behind her and it had a thick Transylvanian accent.

"What the fuck?" McKenna asked trying to turn around to see who it was, but she couldn't move her arms. She looked up and saw that they were gripping a rope attached to a huge pole. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see a tall guy with long brown hair tied behind her. Looking over herself she saw she was in a white shirt, with a black vest, black pants and boots, exactly like the guy next to her. She heard the bushes rustle behind her and she cursed. "For the love of God...why ME!" With that a seven foot tall werewolf busted from the bushes and McKenna and the man both similatiosly pulled themselves up on top of the pole and jumped for a rope dangling above them.

"Fuck... fuck...fuck...fuck..." McKenna cussed as she tried to climb the rope. The two were suddenly jerked upward as a lever pulled the two up just as the werewolf jumped for them. They went up for about ten feet before the rope jerked to a stop.

"PULL US UP! PULL US UP!" Velkan and McKenna demanded.

"I can't! It's stuck!" Some random Transylvania called back.

"WELL GET IT UNSTUCK!" McKenna ordered as the Werewolf jumped up and down below them trying to kill them both.

There was a loud noise that sounded as if two idiots were running to try and do something heroic but end up getting thrown into danger. McKenna looked down to see Anna Valerious and Katelynn, who looked a lot like Anna, running at them.

"McKenna?" Katelynn asked.

"Katelynn?" McKenna shot back in shock and yet total confusion. Katelynn's eyes darted down as Anna kept running and her eyes widen.

"WEREWOLF!" she yelled.

"NO SHIT SHERLOCK!" McKenna yelled.

"CUT THE ROPE CUT IT NOW!" Velkan yelled and with a snap McKenna saw the cage appear out of no where and a pissed off werewolf-in-a-box coming right at them. Velkan pulled out a gun, but his one shot bounced off the iron bars and the two crashed into the cage. Soon jumping off as a hundred shots rang out all hitting or missing the cage.

"Find my gun! FIND MY GUN!" Velkan ordered.

"Find Velkan's gun! It has to be the silver bullets..." Anna ordered.

"KATELYNN! BY THE TREE GET THE GOD DAMN GUN!" McKenna ordered as Katelynn started looking around.

"Oh...hey there it is!" Katelynn said as she and Anna ran over to the gun.

"ANNA!"

"KATELYNN!" Both McKenna and Velkan were screaming as the last rope on the cage was shot and it came tumbling down, nearly landing on the two. There was a growl and the werewolf threw the shredded metal off, and bared its teeth at Katelynn and the Valerious.

"RUN!" the two screamed similantiously and they both took off, the werewolf barreling down on them.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Katelynn cussed as she and Anna ran, the werewolf quickly gaining on them. Both suddenly skidded to a stop, overlooking a huge drop that led down to a large river. They turned to see the werewolf running at them. There was no place to go. It lunged at the two, but they were pushed aside as Velkan and McKenna shoved them roughly, Velkan shooting the werewolf and McKenna stabbing it with a newly acquired silver knife. In an instant the two were gone, and there was a loud splash.

"FUCK!" Katelynn yelled as she and Anna got up and looked over the ledge seeing a huge splash.

"Velkan..." Anna mourned. "God...help us..."

"Shit, the guys are going to kill me," Katelynn cursed.


	5. Meeting in Happy Transylvania

**Chapter 4: Meeting the Happy Transylvanians**

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Van Helsing, Kristin (who finally got a hat), Carl, and Kyle rode threw the entrance of Transylvania and dismounted their horses.  
"So what do you remember?" Carl began.

"NOT NOW CARL!" Kristin and Van Helsing sighed. An angry mob began to form behind them.

"Well, why do we have to kill this Dracula anyway?"

"Because he's the son of the devil," Van Helsing informed, lowering the brim of his hat.

"Need we say more?" Kristin added.

"Well," Kyle started, but he was cut off by another man. He was pale, tall, and wore a top hat. He resembled a body ready for its coffin.

"Welcome, to Transylvania!" he sneered.

"HOLY CRAP!" Kristin jumped, who hadn't seen the man creep up on them. "SOMETHING THAT REPULSIVE AND SCAREY SHOULDN'T BE ALOUD TO WALK THIS EARTH!" She yelled a lot louder than she meant to.

"Excuse me!" the grave digger glared.

"Uhm, look, sorry, but even Erik's face wasn't as bad as you."

"Erik?" Van Helsing, Carl, and the grave digger asked with utter confusion.

"Ya, Erik, never mind that, he's just a friend of mine, lives in France..." she stuttered, her voice trailing off.

"Great, just mix these movies all together, why don't ya," Kyle sighed, shaking his head.

"What do you expect from a bass clarinet?" a voice said next to them. The two teenagers turned around to see Katelynn standing there.

"Katelynn? How, who when..."

"Let me see your faces!" Anna Valerious ordered.

"Why?" Van Helsing asked, pulling down his hat. The others followed by doing the same.

"Because, we don't trust strangers," she replied icily.

"What, it's not like we offered you candy so you'll jump into our carriage," Kristin laughed quietly.

"But, we don't have a carriage," Carl pointed out.

"Never mind," Kristin looked over at Katelynn. "What's going on?"

"No idea, but it's all YOUR fault!" Katelynn accused.

"What!"

"You opened the door and came in here after McKenna said not to!"

"Well its not like I volunteered walked into this mess!"

"What are you talking about? I saw you go in!"

"It sucked me in, I had no control."

"What? What do you mean 'sucked you in'?"

"It felt like somebody pushed me in here and I fell threw the opening."

"That's wei.." Katelynn started to say, but the group suddenly heard a loud, piercing scream. They looked up at the sky as three, huge, demonic vampires dove towards them. "JESUS CHRIST!" Katelynn screamed, ducking her head. But as the vampire flew down, Kristin pulled the automatic crossbow out and began firing. Katelynn stared at her in disbelief, "What the hell?"

"Thank you, Vatican armory," Kristin smirked. All the sudden, Anna and Katelynn where both lifted into the air. "Shit," Kristin yelled, chasing after the vampire that took Katelynn. So basically the next six minutes is a bunch of useless fighting between the wimpy humans, the left hand of god, PMSing vampires, and three lost teenagers.  
Van Helsing and Kristin franticly ran around the courtyard, trying to kill that bitch Marishka.

"THE CHURCH!" Carl screamed, pointing at the dripping holy water. Kristin and Van Helsing ran towards it, but Marishka chased after them. She struck down on Kristin, digging her claws into her back, knocking her off her feet. Luckly, Van Helsing reached the water, shoved the tip of the arrow into the small pool, and shot the vampire in the heart. Marishka's body faded into a charbioled skeleton, and fell to the ground.

"GOD DAMN VAMPIRE!" Kristin cursed loudly in pain, as everyone else watched the charbioled ashes of the vampire bitch go everywhere.

"He killed a vampire!"

"He killed Marishka!" The mob was back again and started to close in as Van Helsing and Kristin both sat down on the church steps putting their hats on as Carl and Kyle came over to them.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Carl asked in confusion.

"Obviously not..." Kyle muttered, looking at Kristin with a little worry. "You okay?"

"I just had a huge bat-demon thing claw my back, oh ya! I'm just peachy!" Kristin said sarcasticly.

"But isn't killing a vampire a good thing?" Carl asked again trying to be reassured of their 'good deed'.

"Vampires only kill one maybe two people a month to live," the Grave Digger explained.

"Oh God... not the sadistic albino again..." Kristin muttered.

"Now they will kill for revenge," the Grave Digger continued. "And what names do I carve on your gravestone?"

"His name is Van Helsing," Anna announced forcing her way through the crowd.

"And the skinny girl is Kristin," Katelynn added, both were bruised and cut up pretty badly from the vampires.

"Oh thanks..." Kristin muttered.

"They are the first ones to kill a vampire in over a hundred years," Anna said really loudly, "I say that's earned them a drink."

"How about a thousand drinks..." Kristin offered, only to be hit by Kyle. "Hey! You didn't get attacked by the vampire bitch did you!"

"Stay close to us, you're no use to us dead," Van Helsing said shouldering his crossbow.

"Ya, and if you die, the Cardinal REALLY is going to be angry and that guy is scary when he's angry," Kyle said.

"Great..." Kristin sighed. "...Now only if we could find McKenna and Zack..."


	6. Dracula's Castle

**Chapter 5: Dracula's Castle**

Meanwhile in Castle Dracula a big block of ice in the shape of a coffin melted and Dracula bursted out of his icy tomb. "Marishka!" he screamed as another block of ice melted and Zack stumbled out coughing and gagging.

"What the hell! I still don't have this whole ice-sleeping thing down and you STILL wake me up by screaming. DAMNIT!"

"Marishka is dead!"

"Really...big loss...You don't care about her anyway," Zack pointed out as Dracula started to walk up the walls.

"Why can't they just leave us alone. We never kill more than we need, can they say the same?" Dracula ranted as he climbed the walls to his sniveling moruning brides.

"Hmmmmm, I wonder if I can walk up walls," Zack wondered out loud as he ran to the wall and tried to walk up. He fell down with a painful crash. "Oww! Damnit that hurts! Still don't have this vampire thing down yet!"

"I feel nothing! No pain...no fear...no sorrow..." Dracula ranted as he jumped back down to the ground. "I am...hollow..."

"Aw...that's harsh. I'm going to tend to the prisoner," Zack said as Dracula's wives started kissing him. "This is worse than Erik and Christine. It's getting to be like a Jerry Springer episode in here."

Dracula looked up at the sillouette of a werewolf being taser by Igor. "We shall make a nice aperitif out of him. Igor! Did we find the other?"

"No master..." the ugly deformed man said comming out from behind a curtain.

"Well...Zack go see if you can get him."

"Fine..." Zack muttered putting on the phantom mask. "Bye." He walked out of the room and down the main hallway. Greatful to be away from the crazy people he was stuck with. Just before her got to the front door a werewolf jumped over the huge wall and right next to him. "SHIT!" Zack screamed as he jumped back. The frightened bassoon turned and ran to one of the many walls, and managed to tun up it. "Yes! I'm doing it!" Just as he said that the werewolf jumped onto the wall next to him and smacked him down. "DAMNIT!" Zack screamed as he fell. He suddenly turned into a demon vampire and started to fly away. "I'm flying! Just like Peter Pan!" Zack felw down to see McKenna transforming back from her werewolf form.

"Oww. What the fuck... Zack? ZACK? GOD DAMN YOU!" she grabbed him by the throat. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" Zack said, gagging under her grip. "Air...Need to...breath!" he said quickly pointing at her hand.

"Oh...sorry," she let him down. "Where are we?"

"Castle Dracula... here's our brochure," Zack said with a smile, giving McKenna a piece of paper saying 'Castle Dracula, the happiest place on Earth'.

"Um...Zack."

"What?"

"Why are you wearing a PotO mask?"

"Because I can...why are you wearing a torn up pirate shirt?"

"Because I sorta appeared here with it on!" Igor walked in.

"Zack, the master wants to see you. Oh good, you found the other werewolf," the servant pointed a very large cattle prod at Mckenna, that he obviously used on the other werewolf.

"Oh hell no!" McKenna said, grabbing a near by candle she chucked it into Igor's eye.

"Owww! There's a candle in my eye!" the man screamed holding his face.

"Wait wait wai!" Zack said quickly. "Leave it, it'll be funny." The two ran to Dracula's lair quickly to get away from Igor. Dracula's voice thundered through the stone halls.

"Everyone to Castle Frankenstien!" he ordere as he and his wives all molded into the ice.

"Oh God in Heaven," McKenna growled. "I have to kill Aleera."

"Why?"

"Because she reminds me of Kim Skaggs..."

"Oh...well, we know that everyone will be at Castle Frankenstien," Zack said as McKenna beat on the ice to get to Aleera.

"Fine..." McKenna sighed. "Let's go."

"Wait, release Velkan first."

"Why me!"

"Because I'm a vampire."

"Fine..." McKenna pressed a button and Velkan staggered out, with a quick look around he leaped away, obviously looking for a way out.

"Okay then, lets go."

"Wait, I'm going to follow Velkan."

"Fine, I'll meet up with you at Castle Frankestine then," Zack said, and with a quick nod McKenna jumped out following Velkan.

"Wait! Watch out for the moat!" Zack screamed, but too late, there was a loud splash of water.

"DAMNIT!" McKenna screamed her voice echoing through the caverns of ice.


	7. I am NOTa FURBALL

**Chapter 6: I...Am Not...A Fur Ball**

Back in the Valerious Mansion, Kyle, Carl, Kristin, Van Helsing, Anna and Katelynn walked through the armory, Anna picking up various weapons and Katelynn followed suit as Kristin and Van Helsing just watched.

"Where exactly are we suppose to find Dracula?" Carl asked.

"No one knows," Anna answered. "My father spent years studying the archives, staring at the map for hours on end to find where it may be. No one knows."

"Carl, Kyle, you two start at the libraries," Van Helsing ordered. The two just stood next to the map, seemingly ignoring him. "Now!" The two jumped and quickly moved towards the library.

"We must go kill Dracula now," Anna said as she picked up a pistol. "He seems almost desperate now to finish off my family."

"You can't go now," Kristin said quickly.

"You're out maned and, you can't see in the dark," Van Helsing said.

"Obviously that's not a problem..." Katelynn said, sounding unconvinced herself.

"I was caught off guard!" Anna defended turning to Van Helsing. "Vampires don't attack in daylight, I was unprepared."

"You really, don't have to do this," Kristin said. "We could...you know wait..."

"No, I am going now," Anna said and stormed past the two knights. Katelynn followed not looking up to this little 'battle' Anna was about to go into.

"I'm sorry you have to carry this burden by yourself," Van Helsing said as he and Kristin followed.

"I would want it no other way."

"I'm sorry about your brother..."

"I will see him again, we Transylvanian's always look on the brighter side of death."

"There's a brighter side to death?" Van Helsing asked as Anna stopped at the door.

"Yes, it's just harder to see."

"That makes NO sense," Kristin said.

"Now if you will excuse me, I have to go," Anna moved towards the door, but Van Helsing caught her and sprayed some dust into her face. She instantly collapsed making the two teenagers jump back.

"WOAH! It's like 19th century sleeping gas!" Katelynn gasped.

"Sorry about that too..." Van Helsing whispered as he picked Anna up and walked off to her room.

"That guy is scary in person..." Katelynn whispered.

"Oh, you think that's scary. The ride here was worse! He was killing random things for food and it was freaken scary cause he shot one RIGHT in the eye!" Kristin explained.

"Right...let's not get this guy mad..."

Later Anna woke up with a jolt, instantly cursing Van Helsing and pulling herself out of the bed. Walking through the black corridors of the mansion. She heard a noise in the armory and grabbed a lamp and a walked in, a pistol in her hand. She looked around anxiously for the source of the noise and turned to see an open window. She walked over and closed it then saw the werewolf prints on the ground.

Kristin suddenly ran out of her own room, screaming as loud as she could, quickly met by Katelynn. She looked pretty pissed from being woken from her sleep and glared at Kristin.

"What's wrong?" she demanded, her arms crossed.

"I just got attacked by a furball!" Kristin explained, McKenna soon came stumbling out of Kristin's room panting and looking completely exhausted like she just came home from band camp.

"I...am not...a...fur ball. I was trying to talk to you...and you throw...a chair at me...God...IDIOT!" Suddenly screams from a man echoed through the halls and Kyle came running out of his room, looking confused.

"What the hell? McKenna!" he asked.

"Hi guys, you won't believe this...I fell off of two cliffs...and survived," the dazed flute answered acting a little loopy. Van Helsing soon came running up to the group, startled and as confused as Kyle.

"What's wrong? Who the hell are you?"

"Hi, I'm like so...trippy..." McKenna sighed and collapsed onto the ground.

"Is she going to be alright?" Van Helsing asked looking from McKenna to Kristin.

"She'll be fine, lets go!" Kristin said as they all ran down the hall to find Anna staring at a werewolf. Van Helsing ran over to her.

"Anna! Are you okay?" The dazed Valerious didn't answer and Van Helsing ran after the werewolf as it leaped out of the mansion into the river below...again. Carl came running into the room, stopping next to the group.

"Why does it smell like wet dog in here?" he asked looking around.

"Werewolf," Van Helsing answered running to him.

"Ah...you'll be needing these," he throws Van Helsing a case of silver bullets and hands some to Kristin.

"Right...Kristin let's go."

"Kyle, get McKenna, Katelynn you help," Kristin instructed as she and Van Helsing ran to hunt the werewolf. Kyle and Katelynn went off to go get McKenna as the two hunters went to the town below, straight for the graveyard.


End file.
